He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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