dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I cut my penus on the lid.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
