i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
