no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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