You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
