just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
