I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
