Pappa wants mamma naked
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
