it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
false alarm, still single
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
