I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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