her vagine was all disorganized.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize