Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
