shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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