Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Randomize
