he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
