I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
