you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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