Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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