Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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