Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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