I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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