just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
