It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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