sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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