so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize