Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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