She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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