So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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