Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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