If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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