i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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