Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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