3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
