Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
