i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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