I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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