So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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