fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
