I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My life is pants optional.
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