They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
