i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
