you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
