I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
