Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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