so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
