whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
