if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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