I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
