i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
