My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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