You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
