DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
