I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Congratulations! We have a period
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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