I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize