He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
