i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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