So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
